


The Rokudo Family Blessing

by OnceABlueMoon



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Adoption, Comedy, Crack, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Gen, He's also Nana's dad and Tsuna's grand père, Humor, Mukuro Adopts All The Strays, Parenthood, Reincarnation, Siblings, the adopting is contagious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-14 15:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18950581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceABlueMoon/pseuds/OnceABlueMoon
Summary: ‘’…So in your previous life, you were a gay supermodel who had a daughter and now we’re going to visit her?’’ Ken hopped from one stone to the other on one leg, arms extended, carefully avoiding the cracks.Mukuro nodded imperiously, gliding his sunglasses onto his face as they walked through the streets of Tokyo.~~In which Mukuro remembers his past life, adopts five more kids along the way and goes to Japan to make his grandson's life even more difficult. Tsuna did not expect his crazy,deadgrand-père to show up in Namimori.





	The Rokudo Family Blessing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Katkeyo Hitman Reborn.
> 
> If anyone gets confused about the experiment numbers, they refer to these people:
> 
> Chikusa Kakimoto: 49  
> Ken Joshima: 14  
> Rokudo Mukuro: 69

It was an average Monday morning when Rokudo Mukuro woke up and realized he had a name.

‘’A name?’’ Experiment 49 frowned, leaning forward as much as he could, strapped to the lab table as they were.

‘’Why, yes, you didn’t expect me to go by a _number_ all my life?’’ Mukuro picked at his nails, ‘’Awful childcare here! No glitter, no heels and devoid of strippers! Once we’re out of here, we’re buying leather pants first thing!’’

‘’Out of here?’’ Experiment 14’s jaw dropped, ‘’How-‘’

‘’With style, obviously. Fourteen, one of these days I’ll have to teach you about that right along with hygiene.‘’

* * *

Swaying his hips like the haute couture model he’d been in his previous life, Mukuro sashayed away, 14 and 49 following him like chicks.

Reducing the Estraneo labs to ashes and have a slow-motion background explosion during the getaway was just his style!

* * *

Mukuro was known for being an impossible customer.

 ''What do you mean, you haven't got child-sized leather pants?!''  
  
''Sir, usually children don't-''   
  
''There GOES my aesthetic!''

* * *

‘’Sixty-nine? Are you awa- Shit!’’ 14 sprang back as Mukuro sat up abruptly, the eyes painted onto his sleep mask boring into the younger boy’s.

‘’I don’t answer to my slave name, Fourteen.’’ Pursing his lips as he slipped on his peignoir, the purple haired boy tutted, ‘’And neither should you.’’

He clapped his hands. ‘’Go get your brother!’’ At 14’s confused silence, he sighed, ‘’Blue hair? Glasses? Yes, that guy. Chop, chop! We haven’t got all day!’’

* * *

‘’Why am I Ken and you Chikusa? I wanted to be Chikusa!’’

Sliding his sleeping mask into his hair, Mukuro smiled. ‘’Why, because I’m making an inside joke!’’

* * *

''I’M NOT GOING INTO THE METAL MONSTER!’’

‘’It’s called an aeroplane, Ken,’’

‘’Shut _up,_ Kaki-pi!’’

‘’Now, now, boys! Let’s get along and paint each other’s nails! We’ll have to wait with hairdo’s until we’re in Japan!’’

‘’Painting nails?’’

‘’Yes, nail polish, the manliest thing invented since the ancient mancave!’’

That shut Ken up quickly.

‘’…Do you have créme pink?’’

‘’No, I only bought polish as black as my soul. Of _course,_ I bought créme pink, Chikusa!’’   

* * *

Nails nicely painted, the trio sat in the aeroplane, Mukuro in the middle, fussing over Ken. ‘’Your hair might be clean now, but god! Look at that haircut! The moment I get my hands on something better, those split ends are going to be butchered! Hmm… Your bangs should go to the right!’’

‘’Your right or my right?’’

‘’MY right, Ken! Because I have ALL THE RIGHTS on your hair!’’ Reaching forward, Mukuro carded his hands through the blonde hair. ‘’We’ll have to secure the bangs with some clips, though, it’s too unruly otherwise. Thank god for airport shops! Imagine going out without your bangs secured!’’

Chikusa, who had already agreed to a good haircut like the sweet suck up he was, hummed on the other side. ‘’Where are we going, Mukuro-sama?’’

‘’To Japan!’’

* * *

‘’…So in your previous life, you were a gay supermodel who had a daughter and _now_ we’re going to visit her?’’ Ken hopped from one stone to the other on one leg, arms extended, carefully avoiding the cracks.

Mukuro nodded imperiously, gliding his sunglasses onto his face as they walked through the streets of Tokyo, life buzzing all around them. Businessmen, students just out of school, children of all ages besides their hurrying parents. A beehive, the city was, and Mukuro hadn’t felt this at home since before this life.

Breathing in the city, melting into its activity, felt like a brand new day just started.

This was, naturally, when Ken landed wrong. Jerking in order to regain his balance, he stumbled forward, colliding with Chikusa’s back, then toppling both of them to the ground like dominoes tumbling down.

‘’Ow. My arm, kaki-pi!’’

‘’You broke my nose, Ken!’’ The irritation bled through Chikusa’s voice as he pushed himself up into sitting position. Mukuro winced at the sight of Chikusa’s mangled nose, his glasses broken, blood dripping down onto his shirt.

‘’We’ll have to get that set. To the hospital!’’

‘’…You’re ten. We’re ten. How do you expect to get away with that? They’ll ask to call our parents!’’

‘’I am well above the three hundred, mind you, and Mist fixes _everything.’’_

‘’What about having to eat? Does it fix that?’’ Ken’s eyes roved over Mukuro’s stomach, envisioning the foodless life.

‘’Sometimes I _worry about you, Ken.’’_

* * *

There was something off about this place. Mukuro didn’t quite know what it was, but it _was_ off, and he could hear it in the ticking of the clock. It was just a quarter of a second behind, erratic, not the regular tick it was supposed to be.

Bouncing his leg, he tapped on the floor, Ken fidgeting with his sweater beside him. The waiting room was deserted, only the two of them to fill it. The receptionist had long gone on her coffee break, and Mukuro suspected she’d run into her girlfriend on the way to the cafeteria because there was no way normal coffee machine-side small talk took that long.

Tick-tock.

Tick… tock.

Tick tock.

Tick… tock.

Tick tock.

Tick tick.

Mukuro was about to rip his hair out of frustration, hands clenching on the uncomfortable hard plastic chair. The white walls were too white, the clock was too loud, and all of this reminded him too much of the labs. It felt like an illusion, shapeless, a cloud of mist drifting aimlessly into his sight, penetrating his senses until it found his worst fears and played them out for him to see. It felt…

Like a cry for help.

Eyes widening, Mukuro’s jaw dropped. Closing his eyes, he reached out, drifting out of his mind and into the air, trusting Ken to take care of his body. Floating along the hospital halls, phasing through the walls, he sought. Hands reaching everywhere- in this void, the void of life.

In this place, everything was and yet was not what it seemed. If he opened his eyes, he would see the hospital halls, but nothing that he saw could be trusted, for it followed the perception of the one viewing it. It was all too easy to get lost in other people’s vision of the world. Closing his eyes was better. It made him see the void more clearly, only the minds themselves glowing bright enough to see through his eyelids.

Little stars in the darkness, that was what consciousnesses looked like. Dazzling galaxies they made, spreading their light across the universe, attempting to brighten the endless darkness as tiny, hopeful suns.

Many of them were swelling, becoming larger and larger- ah, yes, there, a star expelling its outer layer, dying in an explosion of carbon and oxygen. A supernova, a white dwarf, exploding into space. Dying.

Dead, as its last light went with a terrible bang, no sound, but aftershocks everywhere.

This was a hospital. It happened.

With that in mind, Mukuro could not allow himself to wander around without returning to his body or actually attaching himself to another mind much longer. Drifting in the void for too long was dangerous, as he knew all too well.

Following the mist that had clouded his mind earlier, he pounced on the source.

…The poor thing. A supernova waiting to happen, she hung in space. Young, she was, and gigantic, gaining mass at every side, burning, burning more and more. Collapsing into herself, but still, more weight amassed, smaller and smaller, but heavier and heavier, a burden too heavy to bear for such a young child.

He glanced past, careful not to burn himself.

Her name was Nagi, and she had no organs anymore, nor anyone who cared enough for her to sit by her bedside.

A little star with no one who would help her carry the weight on her shoulders.

Mukuro’s eyes snapped open, and with flames burning at his fingertips, flames burning at his forehead, flames burning in his heart, he flew down the hospital halls, towards the child who needed him.

Never again would she be lonely on his watch.

* * *

Mukuro simply _adored_ old land line phones. There was nothing better than casually twirling the cord around your finger while you talked. Aesthetically speaking, the only improvement that had ever been made upon it had been the flip phone. Angrily snapping that shut had a _zing_ that not even the dramatique twirling of the landline cord had.

But alas, there were little flip phones in existence these days, but fortunately, the landline did survive. Mukuro had been sure to hire an apartment that included one. He would have gone for that lovely haunt a few miles away, but sadly, it was not exactly the environment to raise children in, so an apartment it was.

Mukuro _deserved_ the landline.

Especially when he was calling his daughter. ‘’Nana-chan!’’

‘’Back from the death already, papa?’’ Ouch, he had been holding the receiver a little too close. He extended his arm. Ah, yes, that was better.

‘’Sharp as always, my dear! What outed me?’’

His darling daughter giggled. ‘’There is only one person with a laugh like that, you joker! Are you coming to visit soon? You will simply _love_ my son! He’s got the genes! Collected his first baby just yesterday!’’

‘’The baker’s boy?’’

‘’No, papa! What do you take my boy for? He took the local assassin’s son!’’

Mukuro nodded sagely, raising a finger- ouch, still entangled in the landline cord. The finger was turning red, then purple, blood cut off by the tight wind of the cord. Abort mission, abort mission!

He loosened the cord.  Sweet relief. ‘’Good to hear the Rokudo family blessing is still in business at your end too!’’

Nana cooed. ‘’Have you collected any particularly good specimen lately?’’

Mukuro waved her away. ‘’I only take the best babies and you know it! Actually, that’s what I was calling about. I was planning to visit and like a proper Rokudo, I collected an extra baby on the road. But my most recent addition is a bit…’’ He looked up at his charges. Chrome was hiding underneath the table while Ken tried to lure her out with bacon, Chikusa watching them with narrowed eyes from behind the couch.  ‘’Shy, for the lack of a better word.’’

Ken whipped towards him. ‘’I just need the right thing to lure her! I’m the master of all beasts!’’

Mukuro giggled and turned back to the phone. ‘’You hear it, a work in progress.’’

 ‘’Take all the time you need, papa! I’ll see you when you come around!’’

Ah, his family was simply the best! Nana and her forty-eight siblings were the most adorable bunch on earth!

Now, 99 calls to spawn and grandspawn to go, but first, a margarita!

* * *

When you have forty-nine children to visit, and three more to raise, it is understandable that it takes quite some time to get to all of them.

(…especially when you picked up _another_ girl and boy along the way, but give M.M. some fashion and Fran a juice box and everything was right as rain until Fran decided to be sarcastic and Mukuro needed to give him milk to cleanse his soul)

This is why it takes six whopping years to actually visit Nana.

* * *

Mukuro pursed his lips as he eyed the shopping mall. ‘’This place has gone to the dogs!’’

M.M. decidedly did not care. Perking up, she waltzed right through the middle of the group, pushing Ken and Chikusa aside like she was throwing open the shutters to greet the bright morning light. ‘’Shops!’’

Fran, standing next to her, put his fingers in his ears. Chrome extended a hand to Chikusa, which he solemnly took to hoist himself upright. Ken huffed.

M.M. ignored all of them, her eyes on the prize, sparkling all the while. She had been known to have a terrible case of tunnel-vision, especially when it came to her shopping addiction, and it was decidedly too early for this kind of energy. But then again, there was just no stopping her. Fran had long given up his efforts to understand.

Mukuro shook his head, hand on a cocked hip. ‘’We have an appointment to keep!’’

‘’They don’t even know we’re coming,’’ Fran said, fishing his phone out of his pocket and fiddling with his newest game.

Mukuro stared at him down his nose. ‘’I thought we went over this, Fran! A true drama queen knows when to start and when to stop!’’

Behind his back, Ken copied his pose, cocking his hip and mock gasping jauntily. Fran kept his face straight- not that hard, this early in the morning when his muscles hadn’t properly woken up- but Chikusa’s lips twitched and Chrome hid a soft laugh behind her hand.

Mukuro whirled around. He could’ve sworn he heard someone laugh, but it was only his three remaining children, blinking up at him innocently, hands behind their backs. He squinted.

…Chrome looking innocent was never a good sign. And Chikusa blinked a little _too_ prettily. And Ken… had a shit eating grin on his face.

Pointing two fingers at this own eyes, and then at them, he glared. ‘’I’m watching you.’’

Fran shuffled behind him.

‘’ALL of you.’’

‘’Yes, papa.’’

‘’Any more rolling eyes, and I’ll make them roll for _real,_ children.’’

M.M. laughed hard and bright, slipping her arm through Fran’s and rocking them side to side. ‘’Nice one, papa!’’

Mukuro threw the end of his boa over his left shoulder. ‘’We’re going to Nana, M.M. That’s it. End of the story. It’s dramatique time!’’

‘’I know, I know, you’ve got it _all_ planned out. Seven p.m. on the dot: invade the house and surprise Nana! Seven thirty, scare her son! Seven thirty-one, stick your leg up in the air and brag about your adorable children!’’ M.M. stomped with her foot, jostling Fran in the process. ‘’Well, guess what, papa? I’m not a child anymore! I’m fifteen and it’s about time I see the world! Starting with that shop, right there!’’

And with that, she strode away, dragging the long-suffering Fran with her.

‘’I give up!’’ Mukuro threw his hands in the air, pink boa feathers flying everywhere. Pointing at his three remaining children, he pouted. ‘’I’ll see you tonight, and you better have caused some mischief, or I will be ashamed to call you my children!’’

Chrome smiled sweetly as a cloud of doom rose up behind her, mist flames dancing with the shadows, the sharp edges of Ken’s teeth gleaming as he smirked. ‘’Sure thing, pops.’’

And with a wave, they were off, running after their siblings.

* * *

‘’M.M., you have deeply rooted childhood issues, which include hauling me about to be your show doll,’’ Fran said, without looking up from his phone.

Nails boring into his arm, M.M. smiled tightly at the mall security as the doors automatically parted. ‘’We _all_ do, you pint-sized demon.’’

For the hour, it was surprisingly busy in the mall. Chrome wondered if this particular Friday was black Friday-  if they did such thing in Japan.

It didn’t really matter either way. Busy it might be, a crowd indeed, but there was a perfectly clear path behind M.M. and Fran, just large enough for her, Ken and Chikusa. The day M.M. did not take up space for two would be the day their father would give up on ‘’shaken, not stirred,’’ when it came to his martinis.

It was peaceful. The sound of the crowd was like the buzzing of a beehive, but Chrome had never particularly minded bees, even if they agitated Ken terribly. The morning sun filtered sweetly through the glass roof, cheering up the white tiles dirtied by the many feet that crossed them. Boxed in between Ken and Chikusa, it made for a pleasant walk.

Indeed, the only thing that might be considered jarring about it, was the yammering of their sister.

Chikusa took a step forward, hooking his finger in Fran’s hood, catching his attention. ‘’Just do what she says, please.’’ He muttered underneath his breath.

Fran took a calculating look, sliding his phone into his pocket, eyes gleaming wicked, poison green. ‘’Only if you give me ten dollars.’’

Chrome had to smile. Out came the claws. Oh, how she loved her siblings. Fran might not be even half Chikusa’s height, but he was _more_ than capable of ensuring a good price for his silence. Being a general nuisance was a little brother’s job, and Fran had it down to a pat.

Ken frowned. ‘’I thought money was M.M.’s issue.’’

‘’I HEARD THAT!’’

Fran gave Chikusa a hard look and slowly began to open his mouth.

Chikusa scrambled for his wallet and slapped the dollar bills into Fran’s waiting hand. A smug smile slithered its way up Fran’s lips. ‘’Good boy.’’

And he swaggered away.

…Well, at least he hadn’t said that to Ken?

A distraction was in order. Her eyes flit over the storefronts. Oh! ‘’There is a cake shop.’’

Ken’s head whipped up. ‘’…I am not interested _at all,_ but surely they will have _strawberry cheesecake_ , and as such, I must go to this shop! This shop, that will certainly not have your favourite chocolate cake as well!’’

Chrome slipped past him, set on the sweets displayed behind the glass.

Ken nudged Chikusa, proud grin on his face. ‘’Subtle, eh!’’

Chrome did not have to look behind her to feel Chikusa’s long-suffering look. She suppressed a laugh.

They were dorks, her brothers.

They had a whole morning to themselves, and if she had anything to say about it, plenty of cake as well.

* * *

‘’Nana, darling, you look _wonderful!’’_ Mukuro, body aged sixteen, sailed into the kitchen, threw his boa onto the kitchen chair, and embraced his daughter, giving her big air kisses all the while. His daughter laughed.

‘’Papa!’’

‘’Kaa-san? Who’s this?’’ A boy, about fourteen years old, stood in the kitchen door opening. Large brown eyes blinked.

Mukuro clapped in his hands, ‘’You must be Tsuna!’’

Frowning, the boy nodded, sitting down at the table and picking up his chopsticks, starting to shovel food into his mouth. ‘’And who are you?’’

Mukuro beamed, and leaned forward, pinching his grandson’s cheeks. ‘’I’m your grand-père!’’

Tsuna blanched, egg falling from his mouth. ‘’But you’re a teenager!’’ He squinted, ‘’You can’t be my grandfather.’’

Nana laughed as she put more rice on the table, ruffling Tsuna’s hair in passing. ‘’Reincarnation, silly! I never much understood how people don’t see the souls underneath!’’

‘’Erm. Sure. Yeah. That’s it.’’ Tsuna edged away from them, laughing nervously. ‘’Anyway, I gotta go- I’m meeting Gokudera and Takeshi at the gate!’’ He slammed his drink back.

Mukuro gasped, fanning himself. ‘’Oho- is he at _that_ age?’’

Tsuna chocked on his milk. ‘’They’re my friends! I’m not dating them!’’

Mukuro laughed and threw a scandalous wink, stealing a piece of onion from Tsuna’s plate with a deft chopstick manoeuvre. ‘’That’s what they all say, dearie. But nevermind that; You’re at the age when the blessing reaches its peak!’’

Nana beamed as she pulled a chair back, sitting down across her father. ‘’You noticed too! He’s been collecting so many wonderful babies lately! Even infected a couple of others!’’

‘’I did NOT collect- wait. Infected?!’’

Mukuro peered at him over his sunglasses, raising an eyebrow.  ‘’I am gay. We adopted. How else did you think your mother got the blessing? OF COURSE it is contagious!’’

Tsuna groaned, rubbing his temples.  "Couldn't you have told me it was contagious EARLIER?!"  
  
Nana blinked. ‘’What did you think that lovely Hibari boy was doing?"

Tsuna groaned louder. Hibari’s army of men suddenly made a lot of sense. Speaking of which, they’d be standing at the school gate.

His head snapped towards his watch- Fuck.

‘’HIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I’M LATE!’’ And out of the door he was.

Nana shook her head. ‘’That boy! Always running! Usually with Reborn behind him, mind you. Actually, I wonder where Reborn is!’’

* * *

Reborn’s absence was soon explained; There was an unpleasant surprise waiting for Tsuna at school. It was a death ray this time, and Tsuna was sorta disappointed that Reborn didn’t come up with something more original. Nevertheless, the amount of fun Bianchi clearly was having with it was nice, even if Tsuna was insisting he had NO IDEA who those people were to anyone who asked.

Some things waned with time, like his sanity and inability to lie, but the embarrassment never did. The burdens of being a teenager.

At this point, he just ducked whenever the ray was sent his way, rescued a couple of his peers, ignored them swooning like he was some kind of hero in the background and ate his lunch while waiting for Hibari to show up.

Somewhere along the way, he realized Sasagawa Kyoko was suspiciously motherly towards their classmates and began to sweat, remembering his mother’s words. Contagious? God, no, he couldn’t even THINK about it! And Kyoko-chan too!

(…Did that mean he was co-parenting Ryohei with her, though?)

In the end, he ate his food, shared some with Yamamoto and Gokudera and even gave a bite to Ryohei once he decided to show up. Hibari fought Reborn and was soundly defeated by Bianchi once Reborn got bored of him. Tsuna fed him, I-Pin and Lambo pity onigiri after that.

All in all, it was a regular school day at Namimori Middle School.

* * *

Yamamoto had to run by the sports store for some new baseballs, so Tsuna, and in turn, Gokudera, were accompanying him. Doing errands together was a decidedly normal friend activity in Tsuna’s opinion, so that was good. That it also made sure he wouldn’t have to go home and face the utter chaos that was his family, grandfather included? What an unfortunate coincidence! Read the sarcasm.

They spotted Kyoko-chan in front the cake shop, meeting up with Haru.

‘’…Are we seeing this right?’’ Tsuna whispered.

Gokudera grimaced. ‘’Yes, we are. Let’s find a different route.’’

Yamamoto laughed. ‘’Just to avoid them? Don’t you think we’ve been doing that a bit too much lately?’’

Tsuna shook his head. ‘’It’s just that they’ve been meeting up so much. Most of the time with Hana, though. It’s almost like they’re her parents, you know. I feel like they got a babysitter for Hana and Ryohei and went out for the first time in ages alone.’’

Gokudera barked out a laugh at that, but Tsuna was dead serious. ‘’Actually, they did that to Lancia-san too, remember. Not to mention I-Pin and Lambo.’’

…No. No, no, no. Were Haru and Kyoko not only stealing children, but adults too?! God, Tsuna felt for poor Kurokawa. The girl hated ‘monkeys’ and Tsuna had a feeling they all qualified.

That was it. They were turning around, right now. Tsuna couldn’t deal with this shit today.

* * *

Which was, of course, how they ended up being attacked in the street just outside the shopping centre.

He came out of nowhere. One moment, Tsuna was simply out and about with his friends, the next he was frantically blocking the blonde boy trying to _bite_ him. Teeth flashed in the late afternoon sun, and Tsuna sprung backwards. Right into Gokudera, who dropped the dynamite, thankfully not yet lit.   
  
Struggling to regain his balance, Tsuna could not help but be grateful for the metal zing behind him. Takeshi had taken his sword out and stepped forward to defend them. The steel gleamed dangerously in the light. If Tsuna had not been so busy trying to get away from their feral attacker, he could doubtlessly have stared at it for hours. It was easy to get lost in the reflections.   
  
"NOT IN FRONT OF MY SHOPPING BAGS!" A short, red-haired girl screeched behind the blond boy, bodily protecting her haul.

Tsuna blinked.  Takeshi had engaged the boy in combat, a flurry of parrying razor-like nails and huge, canine teeth. The boy’s friends (were they friends?) were patiently waiting for him on the sidewalk. A small, green-haired boy who could be no more than eight years of age, was tapping away on a gaming device. The red-haired girl had picked him up, clutching at his arms as she used him as a human shield, not for herself, but her clothing. It painted quite the odd picture, and that was not even counting the purple haired girl sitting next to the shopping bags, with a curious, one-eyed stare trained on Takeshi. At her back stood a boy playing with a yo-yo, popping bubble-gum with dull eyes. He yawned at the display before him, not even fazed by the sheer violence of it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gokudera bring his cigarette dangerously close to the dynamite, with the intent to ignite it. Red hot panic shot through Tsuna’s veins as he dove forward, grabbing Gokudera’s arm. Gokudera promptly dropped the cigarette, and Tsuna stomped it out lightning quick.

Confetti burst through the air, trumpets were heard, and his grandfather appeared. Tsuna’s mouth dropped. Not again.

But fortunately, his grandfather did not even seem to notice him upon his entrance.

‘’KEN JOSHIMA! PUT THAT TEETH CATRDIGE AWAY RIGHT THIS INSTANT!’’

…Teeth cartridge? Tsuna didn’t want to know.

The redhead and the green-haired child began to snicker at the boy’s- Ken’s? – expense as Mukuro mothered him. When Mukuro straightened out Ken’s collar, it dawned on Tsuna. _Ken was his grandfather’s baby, and so were, most likely, the lot with him._ God, save not only the Queen but Tsuna too, please!

Mukuro readjusted the clips in Ken’s hair, his hands fluttering over the small injuries the fight had caused. ‘’What were you thinking?! First impressions are everything! Violence, Ken, is WASTED on grand entrances! That’s what you do _after you’ve put the fear of god into their puny mortal hearts._ ’’

Ken protested, ‘’But you told us to cause some mischief!’’

Mukuro let out a strangled sound, ‘’I was thinking some Lady Marmalade show on top of the roof! You know, some nice lingerie, good choreography. Not something as vulgar as attacking your nephew!’’

The purple haired girl spoke up. ‘’I wanted to meet Tsunayoshi. Ken was just helping me.’’

Ken turned red, fists clenching as he crossed his arms. ‘’I did nothing of the sort! I was just thinking violence was the answer.’’

Red and green began to laugh again, and not even purple could keep an impish smile off her face. Ken threw his hands in the air, cocking his hip to the side a la Rokudo fashion. ‘’Forget it! Chikusa’s my favourite now, you can all shit in the dark for all I care!’’

Green giggled as purple hid her face, laughter spilling through her fingers. Ken pointed at her. ‘’That’s it! I’m never ever sharing my chocolate with you again!’’

Red waggled her fingers in his face. ‘’Promises, promises!’’

Mukuro clapped in his hands. ‘’Children, children, please do not be so terribly rude! It’s the pitchfork up the ass for those who don’t behave! Now, to introduce you properly!’’ He snatched Tsuna’s arm and led him, ‘’Chrome,’’ a nod to purple, ‘’Chikusa,’’ bubble-gum boy, ‘’Fran,’’ Green, ‘’and the lovely miss M.M.’’ Red beamed up at her father.

‘’Thank you, papa!’’

…What a suck up.

Wait a minute. ‘’Chrome?’’

Mukuro nodded imperiously, ‘’Dokuro Chrome!’’

 ‘’You made her name an anagram of yours?’’

‘’Of course not!’’ Mukuro patted Chrome’s head. ‘’She did that all by herself. I’m so proud of her!’’ wiping a tear away, Tsuna could swear he heard him say: ‘’Takes after her papa,’’ underneath his breath.

Aha.

Nope.

That wasn’t going to be Tsuna’s future.

‘’Juudaime!’’

…Gokudera was the exception. The ONLY one, mind you.

‘’Hey, Tsuna!’’

Yamamoto didn’t count- he had a father.

But his mother was dead. Tsuna clutched his chest, right of his heart, the ~~curse~~ blessing bearing down on him. He took one step backwards. And another. And-

Yamamoto gave him the Saddest, Most Soulful and Heart-Breaking puppy-dog eyes since the incident of 1995 when he’d refused to eat his veggies and mama had given him this _look_.

He stood there, utterly miserable, silent as his friends approached him. They weren’t babies, and Tsuna wasn’t a mother, but it would be okay if he stayed and just spend a little time with the-

Gokudera sneezed.

‘’Gokudera-kun!’’

Tsuna was sure he’d had left it somewhere in his bag… Ah, there it was!

Hurrying over, he gripped Gokudera’s shoulder to bring his face to eye-level, wiping his nose with the tissue. ‘’Blow! We don’t want you to get a cold!’’

‘’Colds don’t work that way, Juudaime.’’

Tsuna stared him down the nose, quite impressive, seeing as Gokudera’s latest growth spurt had made him considerably taller than Tsuna.

‘’…Okay, Juudaime.’’

Satisfied, Tsuna deposited the dirty tissue into the nearest trash bin. Potential disaster avoided! Just imagine, if Hayato had gotten _sick!_ The idea alone made him fret!

‘’Won’t you say goodbye to your precious grand-père, Tsu-kun?’’ Mukuro smirked, ‘’Wouldn’t want me to get sick from heart-ache, right? You can’t fix that with tissues and a soft, parental touch.’’

Tsuna paled.

God damn it all, he was doomed.

‘’This is all YOUR fault!’’

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for the KHR fanzine Omerta! 
> 
> The inside joke Mukuro is making when naming Ken and Chikusa is because Ken’s name literally means dog.


End file.
